Dictionary for Dating Personal Ads
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
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Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Average - Fat
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
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40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic - Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated - Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit - Will take your sister
Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking - Arrogant
Very good looking - Dumb as a board
Honest - Pathological Liar
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy
Mature - Older than your father
Open-minded - Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit - Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive - Gay
Spiritual - Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable - Arrested for stalking, but not convicted